We'd like to appear to be shocked & appalled at these... & of course we are. But, if you won't tell, we won't.

"I was the best I ever had."- Woody Allen.

Q: Why was Adam created before Eve?

A: To give him a chance to say something .

Q: Why are men like floor tiles?

A: Lay them properly once... & you can spend a lifetime walking over them.

Women will be equal to men when they can walk down the street

with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they're beautiful.

"Give a man free hand and he'll run it all over you."- Mae West.

Q: "How do you confuse a dickhead."

A: 42

"Britain's a great place, it just needs a roof."- An American tourist.

Q: What's the difference between Pink & Purple?

A: Your grip.

Love is blind, but Lust is stupid.

"That's not a beer-gut you're looking at, it's fuel tank for a sex-machine."- Bumper Sticker.

Q: Why did God invent men?

A: Because the Omax can't mow lawns. - Tracy: Melton Mowbray.

Son: "Dad, I've had my first time with her. I lasted about a minute."

Father: "Son... as you get older your skill in that department improves, I've got it down to twenty seconds."

Son: "Dad, I've just got a part in the school play. I play the part of a man who's been married twenty years."

Father: "Never mind son... you'll get a speaking part next time."

Father: "Stop that, boy! It'll make you go blind!".

Son: "Dad, I'm over here."

This is an e-mail from Chris in Milwaukee... after looking at the Omax.

"It's got three speeds...

1. lousy lay. 2. OK lay 3. How do you want your eggs? "

Chris & partner suggests we use it in our advertising. A massager goes out to you as one of the winners to our last Web site competition.

"Let's shatter the myth, no women can Orgasm in 2 minutes"- Sharon Stone (we question that!)

My daughter-in-law's so stupid, at the bottom of a form where it said Sign here - she put Scorpio.

"Nice girls don't come, they arrive"- anon.

"I conquered, I saw, I came." - anon.

And finally...

"If you weren't meant to do it, God would have made your arms shorter."- anon

Send us your comments, anecdotes (for inclusion on this page) etc etc & Win Yourself Our Special Chocolate Body Paint in this FREE Draw..

Win Yourself Our Special Chocolate Body Paint in this FREE Draw.

We hope we've entertained you. Good Luck!

Omax v Harley-Davidson?

This is from the lads at "Live to Ride" Magazine. A really amusing article; They find out which gives the best ride. Omax or Harley-Davidson? A transcript of the feature. We just couldn't resist it!

What Omax looks like & what the press say...Find out about your Partner's Sex-Drive with this 1 min. Test What Omax does & how it worksWhat our users say...Omax v Harley-Davidson?So why buy an Omax massager?A Guide to you & your partners Sexual Type based on your Favourite ColourHow it works (for the techies amongst you)Personality Test(A little idle fun)Win Yourself Our Special Chocolate Body Paint in this FREE Draw.Your 15 day Money-Back GuaranteeHow to OrderHow to Contact the Girls & Boys at OmaxThe Cartoons, Definitions, Quotes slightly Smutty Jokes Page Search Sites on the Web

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